my-stoies

sonia - ' kabhi aana tu meri galli'

2010-11-11T23:03:00.000-08:00

Sonia Madam,

while my appeal might seem like another piece of flattery and it may leave hoards of congressmen jealous of me for having this brainwave ( there is no dearth of sycophants in congress who want to out do each other in pleasing you madam, you should know it better though), but i want to assure you that this appeal is truly genuine, coming from the core of my heart, sonia ji.

No, i dont want a MP ticket or a contract or a flat in Adarsh Society, Sonia ji, all i want for you is

Kabhi aana tu meri galli.

I plead you to just cross my neighbourhood once, even if you dont want to cross, will you please be kind enough to make an announcement of your plans to get here. even that will do.

You see Sonia Ji, strange things start happening the moment you announce your visit.like you see what is happening in Imphal.strange phenomenon, some aliens seems to have descended from may be another planet, who have a broom on their hands and they are sweeping the streets. this i tell you sonia ji has never happened in history of Manipur. Manipur soil has suddenly become so fertile, you have to see it to believe it, the roadside has yielded marigold flowers overnight, this I am sure would be a record whichever standards you apply, be it Italian standards or the standards that were used for commonwealth games.

so i was thinking that galli does not have a black top road and the marigold also takes to long to yield a flower. if you could just plan to visit just once.

the icing on the cake would be if you can cancel the visit at the last moment. You see, if you actually come, there there are a few hiccups though we are quite accustomed to it, like the roads being barricaded or some dirty portion of the city being closed ( out of sight is out of mind, you see) there by causing traffic snarl. But traffic is also not much of a hassle in Manipur, thanks to the eco friendly approach of our neighbouring states who do not want us to burn fossil fuels. so there is no fuel in petrol pumps. you therefore dont worry about traffic, only vehicles that you will find on the road would be lined up outside petrol pumps. the line however may stretch for kilometers, full of funny people who think just because they own a vehicle, they have right to buy patrol too. quite funny, he he . ( this is a quick tip for rahul Baba, who reached to some place in UP unannounced and he had suffer a FIFTEEN min traffic jam, can you imagine , FIFTEEEEEEEEEEN long minutes, Rahul Baba, there is no such danger here, this place is suitable for planning your unplanned visits.)

look, some more fools would differ with me. thats not something to worry about, they are just the hawkers, and road side. they keep complaining that their unlawful encroachment has been dismantled. Dont you worry about them, i can tell them that its just for a few days, wait for another 3-4 days and pay to the local authority appropriately, you will again get a chance to put up your stall. As for passing your time, you can attend the rally and add to the gathering. The more the merrier, you know Sonia ji feels so happy to see a big crowd.

that all for now sonia ji, if you finally decide to come, do let me know, you are travelling exactly in which vehicle or chopper, i can atleast wave at you, there are a number of vehicles in your cavalcade, that confuses me actually. Madamji, just one more request, if there is no weight restriction for your luggage, can you please get me 20 litres of Petrol for my Maruti 800 ( you see, my galli is quite far from rally place and i so much want to attend to your rally). yeah, just to tell you why i travel in Maruti 800, its just that bigger the car, bigger is the tax, you know there are so many taxmen in manipur. And tell you what, these taxmen are quite efficient, unlike those in your government. when they ask for payment, we must pay else they deliver justice much faster than the local court.

ok bye for now, cya in your rally.

LIVE THE MOMENT

2010-04-19T23:50:00.000-07:00

its 2 54 am. i should be deep in my slumber at this moment considering that i need to wake up at 5 20 in the morning for PT. but the more i chase sleep, sleep runs away from me; like it happened to you in high school when much sought after beauty queens just kept that safe distance from you ( i say ' you' because i studied in an all boys school). i know that when i get up in the morning i will be groggy and curse myself for keeping awake in the night- and that is worrying me.

And that brings me to the point of writing this blog. how many times have i forgotten to live the present which is beautiful and enjoyable because i dwell in my past or i m too busy worrying about the future. i think of the present now, i find no physical pain. there is nice music playing in the radio, the mercury is just perfect. then why is it that i am giving up all this for something thats gonna happen in future. chasing sleep is a perfectly sensible thing to do and i will be crazy to keep awake all night. but, what is driving my chase for sleep. its being driven by fear of a bad morning. I would be naive to suggest not to plan for the future at all, that would put me in the category of being careless. but there is such a fine line between planning for future and worrying about it. i must admit, more often than not, its the latter one. i can help in finding that fine line. while planning is based on reason and logic, a worry rides on the back of hope and anxiety. fear and anticipation are its companion.

if only i can learn to live in the present. i can break this cycle of fear and anxiety,hope and anticipation. i can then live in the present, live the moment and make the most out of it.

its a simple lesson. but the fun lies not in finding complex rules, rather in living with the simple rules that you lay down for yourself.

P.s

do you listen or do you wait to speak.

when in a conversation next time, try and figure it out. hey and don't worry about it now... as for now, just live the moment. hope this moment brought you joy of reading a simple piece of thought :)

2010-03-12T13:42:00.000-08:00

hi frnds,

seems i m obsessed with drawing hands. not true, the thing is that i m yet to figure out how to draw from imagination. so whatever comes across and looks easy, i try n draw it. so this one was done in 15 minutes. have used stumps for smudging. that makes the shading job so much easier. their are flaws as i see it, numerous. but its for u to point out n give me a thing or two ( only these many at a time) to improve.

the carrot is some day i will reciprocate with drawing your portrait :)

trapped!!!!!

2010-02-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

hi frnds,

once again i just wanted to rub it to u ppl telling u that i m just having a bit too much of time at hand. this is what i came up in the weekend.

now that Plagiarism is the buzz word here, i will do well to site my source :)

so i happened to come across this drawing in one of the you tube videos. i liked it and i had time to try it out so it is here.

i couldnt come up with a suitable title - big brother is watching u- could be one. or' trapped ', i liked 'trapped' more because it seems the guy is trying to tear off the paper n get out of the trap.

tell me how do u like it :)

seems i have tons of time :)

2010-02-13T22:45:00.001-08:00

hi frnds,

havent blogged for so long.

reason being simple. i just wanted to cook up something good before putting it on a platter. n the masterpiece just wont occur.

its only when i m here in US for a course and i have a lot of time at my hands that i started with a new hobby to fill up my time. now dont go on a laughing spree when i tell u that i have started doing pencil sketches.

n its only then i realised that the fun is not in producing masterpiece. the fun is in the process.

while i wont turn u ppl green with giving you details as to how do i have plenty of time.

i would rather leave u with some of my masterpieces( well as i told u the product doesnt matter, i enjoyed the procces)

2009-08-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

hi friends,
its irony that such alazy bum as me is writing on spirit of olympics, u can see it for yourself that this post is coming months after the olympics are over n may be the trials for next olympics have also started.......... who knows :)
but then all of this is not as it seems. there are two things.
one is that i have strong motivation to be shaken off my lethargy
n second is that being disorganised has certain advantages like finding a note like this from a long forgotten trouser's pocket. so here it is ....

the spirit of olympics

its almost a monthsince i put on my running shoes. it took almost 07 days of cumulative effort of all the top athletes from across the planet to spur me into action,shaking off my lethargy. if one gold and two bronze, the medal tally of entire indian contingent( incidently the highest ever) had a large role to play in it, i cant say that.

as i was puttin on my joggers, a thought brushed past my mind, " what sould it be like to put on these shoes every waking day of life, come sun, rain or storm and slog it out in the middle, with the knowledge that next day gonna be the same and the next day and all the coming days." i saluted thm all for making a beginning everyday with the sun rising on the horizon or may be before that.

i broke into a jog. its a lovely feeling, i tell you. nothing beats this experience, if you have got into those running shoes of your will and just started warming up with light breeze blowing across your face. the body gets into rhythm, the joints are moving smoothly now. you can feel not blood but spirit of life flowing into your veins. isnt life all about taking a step forward. life is all about taking a step forward, in your destined path. its not about thinking when do i stop. its not about thinking of distance travelled and the distance yet to be clocked. its just about putting the next step ahead. i learnt a very simple formulafor running. its just putting one leg ahead of anotherand the other leg trying to better it. thats what life is all about. you run the best when you are not thinking of what you have covered and what is yet to be, not when you compete with the fellow runner in the race. its when your legs are competing against each other and try to be ahead in the race that you are at your best. life is no race against anyone but your own self. its this spirit of conquering that i salute. else, what is the motivation behind Usain Bolt battling his own world record. what drives michael phelps into breaking his own marks once, twice and ...... ohh i loose the count. its the spirit of conquering your own self. its thes self we are fighting against. i salute all these world beaters. hey... but i hail them all in the same breath who tried and failed. when saina nehwal reached the distance no suttler had reached, when akhil kumar beat the world champion and yet finished without a medal, when khadke broke the national mark, yet failed to qualify,this is all to be proud of. its all about breaking the barriers and about self belief.

as i do my distance and my breathing gets heavier and thoughts of halting come more often than i want them to, i take yet another step spurred by the dogged determination of all these competitors. the logic says that i have done enough for the day and then i take yet another step spurred by those who by their performance have defied gravity, friction and above all logic.

as i come to a halt eventually, i feel like a winner, a champion. hey dont be fooled i have run nothing more than 5 kms call it 5000 meters in olympics lingo and of course i wont tell you my timing and put off all my readers at once who have grown so used to seeing world record timings. but yes, i have won the battle against my lethargy, my tiredness, my own fears, apprehension and my own self doubt, yeah, when in doubt i put forward that extra step.

cheers to the spirit of running.
cheers to the spirit of olypmpics.
cheers to you.
:)

varun gandhi : a threat to hinduism

2009-04-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

hi all,

a long time since i have put pen to paper electronically that is..

limited access to this beautiful media called as internet is one of the reasons rather an excuse, however i will put the blame squarely on my lethargy.

yeah the issue that shook me up from lethargy is very dear to my heart.

for the few of you who will go through my post would have been caught by surprise when i say that varun gandhi is a threat to the Hinduism. many wont agree but before i take up this issue i must make it clear that i am a hindu and am as much proud of being one as Varun gandhi can possibly think of. but what mr varun gandhi has done is that he has hurt my pride in being an hindu and the pride of all those who are proud hindus.

his statements while may increase his vote bank by way of misleading the innocent voters who have thier own ideas of hinduism and he may establish himself as the frontrunner in the league of bal thakre and raj thakre, he has caused irreparable damage to the notion of hinnduism.

he hurts the very essence of hinduism when he says nobody other than hindus are welcome in this country. the hinduism prides itself in being an all encompassing all inclusive religion and over the centuries we have accepted all with open arms in true spirit of ' vasudhaiv kutumbakam'. how dare he say on behalf of all hindus who till now had no problem buying flowers for puja from a muslim vendor.

for those who cant see what damage he is causing to us the Hindus, you only have to look around and see what the muslim hardliners and people of the ilk of taliban have done to the Islam. an average muslim is seen with an eye of suspesion for no fault of his in all western countries and wherever he is in minority thanks to these hardliners. does varun gandhi want that we hindus are also looked as potential threat to the humanity in the days to come. well thats what he is doing.

it may not be pallatable to a hindus who want a rightful place for hindus and hinduism. well if u are a non marathi hindu then try and draw a parallel to what do u feel when raj thakre gives a call to evict all non marathis from mumbai. his concept of 'apla manoos' does not include u and u dont feel any better. hope u get the argument.

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD

2007-12-05T03:15:00.000-08:00

Child is the father of man n the world's view is much clear seen through a child's eyes. Anything that defies a child's logic is illogical for sure. so here u see the prejudice against coloured folks in Alabama in 1930's through a nine yr oldies eyes, but the same is true for every society in every era of civilization.

its a beautiful story where a lawyer stands up against the conventions of society to uphold what is correct. Atticus the lawyer, initially passes as the run of the mill folk who does nothing but reads newspaper. Even her daughter rues the fact that her father is good for nothing. but as u turn the pages he almost appears a superman. Atticus is an upright whose determination for upholding justice is complimented by his being a responsible father who sets right examples for his kids. he does no jaw dropping stunts but his presence is as reassuring as James Bond........ its not time to worry yet.

as for scout, the narrator, well..... i fell in love straightway. holy Christ !!! she is nothing more than a 9 yr old gal. but then i can wait for her to grow up. she is intelligent beyond her years, has innocence befitting her age, courageous n fiercely proud. n she poses questions which makes grown up ppl think.

other characters are equally well painted. you get your share of humour also that makes it a happy reading.

the city of joy

2007-11-29T21:30:00.000-08:00

There is a famous temple just across the road where I live. There are a few thelawalas who put their stalls next to the mandir selling flowers, garland and other pooja like stuff. They sleep, eat and live on their thela only or on the road if the thela cannot accommodate them.

One night while I was returning from a late night movie, I crossed them. Then I just thought to myself how do they live and turned my bike to have a look at them. They were all stretched on the rd; there were a few utensils and a stove to make for all their household stuff. That’s all I did, I looked at them and turned back.

The story is not remarkable in any sense except for the fact that for once I realized that they are not the pariahs or even worse ‘objects’, but they are living human beings in blood and flesh like u and me are. I owe this realization to this remarkable book “the city of joy” by Dominique Lapiere.

There couldn’t have been better blend of misery with riches, the hellish condition where ppl are destined only to filth, poverty, sickness, heaven couldn’t be found at a better place. The utterly hopeless sit where all that ppl can cling on to is their hope.

For starters, the city of joy is the description of life in Anand Nagar, a slum in Calcutta, the erstwhile Paris of the East. Here comes a Pole father in service of God. While he affects the life in slum in more ways than one, there are a few lessons which he himself couldn’t learn anywhere else.

The ppl in the city of joy are remarkable because while the resources are scarce, love flows in abundance. They are the forgotten sons of god but god has never been out of their minds. God snatches from them all their means of livelihood but they cling onto him all the more.

They are the ppl the Pole father goes to heal, to bring comfort to them and he finds the serenity n calm in their eyes. The zest for life is remarkable, life goes on unabated hail comes or storm.

A few books leave their permanent mark on the readers mind, this book certainly counts among them. Reading this book certainly makes me a better person at least more human than I was. When next time I see a rickshaw puller or a beggar the least I can do is not to treat him like an object. I am not extolling poverty, its not a virtue but nevertheless lets not make it a crime.

THINK BIG

2007-08-01T21:46:00.000-07:00

oh , the thinking stuff again. but dont worry , this one wont stress your brain the way it did in earlier posts. i only aim to drive home the point that opportunities knock at the doors of all of us. the lucky ones are actually those who can think big when the situation presents itself. chalo, enough of lecture baazi , i will get on with my story.

but for the benefit of those not well versed with hindu mythology, there are our evil frnds who always pray the hardest to appease our Gods. then the first thing they want to do is to dethrone the God himself. and traditionally our Gods have always been the most gullible of the lot. they always get pleased and concede to all demands made by the evil frnd.

so there was our evil frnd again praying for years long doing all sorts of things that ramanand sagar had shown you, like hanging upside down on the trees for days, standing on one leg for weeks, going without food for months n all that. but he had designs as evil as he was. like all our evil frnds he wanted to rule the universe, and enslave the god himself. our good old gullible god knew of it all, but was in a fix now.

the crisis emerged and as always god had to outthink the evil.

so he gives audience to the evil frnd.

" son, i m so pleased with you . say what do you want of me."

" god i want to ......... oh god some one help me with this itching on my backside."

" son , as you wish. your itching will stop immediately."

so the god conceded to his wish and left to enjoy the company of rambha and urvashi, putting back the itching powder in his pocket.

the evil frnd was thinking ," just when i had to think of owning the universe, all i could think was this itching."

THINK BIG

thought for the day :THINK

2007-07-16T00:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever picked up a shirt or a trouser (gals pl make suitable replacement if you are not shirt/ trouser type) that you had not put on for quite some time, put your hand in the pocket and suddenly found a hundred rupee note. Great feeling…. eh. Those of you who haven’t had this experience are a bit too organized to have such simple pleasures. There is no greater joy than finding a thing you thought you had lost. I experience it far too frequently. While I m working in the office I find my pen ten times a day because I loose it ten times a day n the ocean of papers/ files, so have I found my key ring, notes, watch, diary, purse and mobile.

When a thing is lost (or you presume it to be lost while it is only misplaced) there is a great anxiety and so many thoughts work up in your mind. You promise to be more careful, better organized, you pray to the God for ‘ this one time only’ and some time you make some real weird promises to your deity.

So this piece of nonsense is just another promise kept. I owe it to my mobile which I discovered at the dead of the night that I have lost it, by early morning I discovered that I cant get it before mid day if et all I can get it and till mid day this was the most voluminous thing occupying all my thoughts. And did I tell you of the promises that I made…Like being a good boy, a weird one like writing a new post even if not many ppl subscribe to it and the weirdest of all – ‘I will put on helmet religiously while driving for at least seven days’ (think of it, how the hell is putting on helmet connected to the lost mobile).

Thoughts as they occur to you are very different from purposeful thinking which takes a lot of energy, . Haven’t you heard that coming to a conclusion is just another way of saying that you have got tired of thinking? So here a few ways of thinking: -

(a) painful thoughts. Just notice the fact that it is a thought that has occurred to you and you have not conditioned it. but you can not escape the thought of the misery that has befallen you.

(b) sequential thinking. I try to go about it sequentially as to how did I start my day, where all did I go, the office, residence, café, the vehicle I was sitting in at the same time trying to recollect where all I used my cell.

(c) pictorial thinking. then I try to pictures location by location like when I was there in the shop, I put my hand in the pocket, took out my cell ( or not) put it on table ( or not ).

(d) lateral thinking. Like ringing up my cell no to see if it is hidden under the pillow or behind the curtain or inside the files. (Doesn’t fall in the category of lateral thinking ,but had to add it for want of better example). Or may be my good frnd is playing pranks on me who can this good frnd be?

All the above type of thinking fall in the gambit of rational thinking because they have some logic behind the thought. They are however interrupted by some irrational thinking.

(e) Fearful thinking. No one dies of hard work but why take a chance…right?? Yeah all the time I am afraid that my mobile has gone for good.

(f) Preconditioned thinking. All my sequential thinking, pictorial thinking and other kinds of rational thinking is marred by the prejudiced notion that the mobile should be under the pillow and I leave all the search half way to pick up my pillow and find nothing underneath.

(g) Wishful thinking. When wishes father the thought then every thing seems so rosy, suddenly I find myself dreaming that my good frnd of lateral thinking has had enough of fun and he is soon returning my cell to me.

(h)……..

(i)….

(j)…..

……….

………

while you may be thinking what I am thinking next, think along – that’s the food for thought for you. I have reached the conclusion because I got back my cell.

Don’t believe me?????? Call up at 9410233346 to confirm.

knowledgeable??????????

2007-06-30T00:35:00.000-07:00

newton ruined my chances way back when he discovered gravity, Edison did the same with the bulbs. these oldies haven't left much for me to do. if only i had dated back some 500 years ago. but then, these days every second day there is a new gadget in the market - some mp3, some ipod, some apple or black berry (or mango or cheeku for that matter) always surprises me and off course leaves me disappointed with another missed opportunity to serve the mankind.

however, i am always enthusiastic about what other lesser mortals have come up with and seek to know what is what.

so i was travelling in a hired innova the other day. it was again the latest model sx4, tx 4 wx6 (why do all these vehs come with x ratings) or i don't know what. as we started on, the dashboard seemed to be a running light and sound show. naturally i got curious and flooded the driver with whole lot of 'whats' and 'whys'. the driver seemed to be quite knowledgeable and with great enthusiasm he explained to me all.there was some display showing you fuel, some showing you oil, the odometer, speedometer, one to tell you that you have travelled this much, then the compass. . then there were lights of all kinds left indicator, right indicator, fog light, pass, don't pass, brake, the light to tell you the rear door is open or the boot is open.

but then i was stuck up at one blinker, couldn't guess what it was blinking for.

" ooh it's nothing , it only shows that i have not put on my seat belt". he didn't fail to add " the cops wont know , there is no blinker outside".

this left me quite confused as to whether i should appreciate his knowledge or the lack of it.

passing thought :
when an apple falls from the tree, the genius sees the gravitational force.
and the wise man sees a tasty fruit to eat.

read between the lines

2007-06-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

Blame it on govt or society or history or geography; even biology if you feel so, i call it economics - simple equation of demand and supply. but the matter of fact is that marriageable gals are becoming precious and precious gals are becoming more precious. the matrimonial columns looking for suitable grooms are becoming more and more demanding. all the difficult words from dictionary are finding place in the matrimonial columns.

so there was a column inviting grooms ( or superman ) with following specifications:-

" should be tall, handsome, charming, quick witted, intelligent, caring, well settled, modest, humorous". did i call him superman ...well, inject a few more adjectives that i might have missed.

the gal was precious, so the column was well received and even better reciprocated. but you know ' har kisi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta , kisi ko jamin to kahin aasmaan nahin milta' . somebody was not tall enough,the other was not charming enough, somebody talked too much, the other listened too much.

it was not difficult for the gal to reject all of them out rightly. the difficult one came when someone came with a proposal " hey, i am none that you are looking for , save one. i am not so tall, not so handsome. charm keeps at arms length from me, humour escapes me except when i am the one being laughed at. i am often at my wits end when looking for a witty reply, intelligence can be graded average at best. all i can say about me is that i am quite MODEST

hellllllllllooooo .... what do you say m'am"

2007-06-24T21:42:00.000-07:00

CONCERNS OF A 30 SOMETHING

Hey gals, the situation are very bleak demands immediate intervention of a tender heart. A 25 yr young guy, seemingly settled, with no disabilities (visible or invisible), friend circle decent enough to call him social and no GIRLFRIENDS????? Oh, ppl take it for granted that I should rightfully have a girlfriend. The general niceties start with ‘ man, how are you and how are your girlfriends (pls note that ‘girlfriends’ is no mistake of grammar, it is meant to be plural).All the charming one liners that my frnds have tried on their galfrnds and succeeded are on my fingertips , only they never reach my lips.

so it made me think , what if the situation doesnt improve down the line. i will sure get some vices - diary writing will surely be one of them. so read on what my diary entry would look like five years hence:-

08 jan 2012

at home

The New Year brings no joy sitting in a corner at a party with a bunch of morons who are destined to share the same fate as me, but the valentines day is even worse when I have to be contend with wishing my heartfelt love to all my friends’ girlfriends.

It was all acceptable till I was made to confront a very harsh realization, rather innocently by one of my juniors. He had returned from a course and like a very good senior I was taking feed backs from him about the course. During the conversation he mentioned one of my course mates and I naturally told him that this guy is my course mate.
“ Sir! He is your course mate!!!!!!!!” (You should have seen the look of amazement in his eyes.)

“Yeah, of course, he is.”
“Sir, he looks so young.”

There was such innocence in his voice that I couldn't tell him there that he was in fact calling me an oldie.
Anyways. I set out on yet another leave and my colleagues wished me luck yet again. Yet again I my excitement level was high for train journey always excites me. railway stations have contributed more than anything in bringing the world closer. you always bump into some long lost frnd of yours. i also met one. his jubilation at seeing me was instantaneous

"oh my god , you have turned to such smart , handsome and dashing hunk. a few pounds added here n there notwithstanding. and like they say' BALD IS BEAUTIFUL'.

he is such a sweetheart, never hurtful but never misses a point. he even went a step further and suggested a few quick fix to hair loss. however, i forgave and forgot him in the excitement of the journey. even with a confirmed seat ,i was the first one hovering over the chart minutely scanning it for all F 16 to F 36 types. but i have never found favour with the lady luck. and when the lady luck smiles at me the lady in front doesn't. haan if they smile its only for 'bhaiya, can you fetch me a bottle of water from the platform',

'yeah , sure why not ( not without a frown).

but this time it was insult added to the injury. guess what i heard last

"uncle, can you fetch me a bottle of water".( UNCLE???????????).

enough of it, no more of train journey. lets reach home. my mother is an ardent devotee. she spends 4 hours a day in front of the representatives of the 33 crore odd gods that we have. she has prayed to each one of these 33 crore odd well wishers for a beautiful, slim, educated,cultured, same caste and kundali waali bahu.aah...not many takers.but that history now. very recently she has turned liberal " beta , caste wont matter as long as long as we find a suitable gal for you( what a way to tell that there aren't gals in our caste finding you suitable,lets venture out in hope). she also spoke of going to kerala on a family trip, it economics working again- matter of demand and supply.

oh god if only i could get a posting to kerala- i call it quits with this thought .

good night

well ,you see gals, the appeal is desperate . help if you can, those who cant, kindly pass on this mail to 10 of your frnds. even if you do so, i cant promise any of those soaps dished out by chain mails but it might just help my cause, might just change things for better.

haan, change se yaad aaya.

there is nothing permanent except change...................and receding hairline.............and growing waist line after 30".

2007-06-14T06:22:00.001-07:00

SHOW ME THE WAY FIRST

There are a few questions, which are not always answered favorably. This question ranks high in the list. OK, let me give you a bit of background. Army is a voluntary organization where first unwritten law of simple and peaceful living, as passed down in PCK (previous course knowledge) is never to volunteer. So when this all-important question, WHO WILL DO MAP READING, is posed to each course of NDA, IMA or OTA, there are not many takers. However, some of the not so well groomed ppl succumb to the coaxing of the instructor.

Needless to say, the map-reader is one of the most unfortunate commodities around. Much like a goalkeeper’s in football, it’s a thankless job. You can only miss a goal never score one. His misfortune starts the moment he holds his hand up in affirmative to the question posed. From now on, this hand will hold nothing but a map and a compass, while others will have the luxury of water bottles (the importance of water bottles is duly amplified, just read on).

No one notices the several saves made by the goalkeeper. So, we will also not take any note of all the points where the map-reader has taken the team successfully. The team is going bang on target and the spirits are high. Everyone wants to finish first, so who is the one causing delay?? Hey, map-reader, hurry up man! Hurry up.

Hurry up???? You tell the map-reader to hurry up and the screw up has started. Have you noticed a student fishing for an answer in his textbook with five mins to go the exams? Ho goes five pages this side…10 pages that side ……starts afresh from page one…. leaves half way…starts backwards… Leaves halfway and never find the answer. Well, the map-reader in a hurry fares no better. He goes 200 yards this way, 200 that way , falls back to the same place, climbs one top , reconnoiters one route…… and you are lost.
LOSSSSSSSTTTT???? First signs of being lost are when the map-reader is admiring the map more than usual, the ‘ hurry up ‘ is replied with ‘ wait a min yaar’ and the first water bottle opens.

In a team there are all kinds of guys. There are guys who are less tired, there are guys who are more tired and invariably there is a guy who is ‘ most tired’. The ‘less tired guy feels jittery, restless. He wants to win so badly; he wants them all to move. He goes to the map-reader, peeps into the map, gets nothing- its all French to him, tells the map-reader again to hurry up. The ‘most tired guy ‘ does not know how to feel. He feels nice sitting down, but the fear of ‘GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH MORE’ is lurking in his mind. The ‘more tired guy’ feels it just right. He gets to sit down just when needed. He need not go to the map-reader for he is not bothered as to ‘WHO CARES HOW MUCH MORE’. He sits back in the comfort of the fact that the ‘most tired guy’ will cater for his timely rest.

The map-reader has found the right route at long last or may be he only feels right about it. He gives them a call of ‘ COME THIS WAY’.
‘SHOW ME THE WAY FIRST’ comes back the reply thick and fast.

The ‘ less tired guy goes to each one in the team, eggs them all to move on. Every one gets moving after some effort and persuasion, even the ‘ most tired guy’. The ‘more tired guy’ gets up last (he can always catch up).

The spring of the feet are gone, the slogans and cheering has given to a few chirpings

“ I feel we are not going the correct way”. (This guy can’t make out the difference between a political map and a contour map, but everyone has a right to feel).

“ map pakarna aata nahin, chale hain map-reader ban ne”.( map-reader is now feeling the worst, ah… well everyone has the right to feel).

“Has anyone got some water left”?
The chirping also dies down. Any word uttered might be mistaken for a ‘YES’.

The map-reader stops for a while at a junction-just to ascertain. He tells all to move on and the ‘more tired guy’sits down.

“hey common,don’t sit down now”.
“yaar, confirm the route for two mins. We should not loose half an hour for a wrong turn”.
Do you need a better lesson on diplomacy? Well…. read on.

The move continues. The more tired guy is tired but energetic enough to be found in the vicinity of any water bottle opened. He gets a sip of water as a courtesy. The most tired guy looks helplessly ahead at the people gulping down water. Now the tempers are overflowing. ‘we will have none of this’.

“Common yaar, don’t be a sissy. At least you shouldn’t stop. We are almost there”.

“Hey, I’m not stopping for my sake. Look at this poor ‘most tired guy’. We are after all course mates. We need to take care of each other.

You wont need a better lesson on diplomacy. Yet…read on .

I came across these lines somewhere:- “a person’s character can be better judged in an hours play than in a year’s association”.
But I take the liberty to say that a person’s character can be judged over the water bottle opened after 25 miles of jungle bashing better than any other games.

These are the last few yards. You had saved the water all this while…you open the water bottle…three sips remaining…five guys around. The more esteemed of the lot wont ask for water, only his lustful look at the bottle will betray his emotions. You have raised the bottle to half and suddenly the more desperate and less esteemed of the lot gives a call
“ yaar peene ke baad ek sip dena”
You feel like throwing the bottle at him but are sensible enough not to spill the water. You sake you head in affirmative knowing fully that there are four other guys eagerly awaiting the end of your performance- sooner the better. You gulp down two sips and hand over the bottle feeling righteous about it. The three guys feel betrayed. The desperate guy gives a sorry look….feels happy..’ last sip for a beautiful wife’.

Hey, where is our very own map-reader?????
Well, we are on the right course-take no notice of him.

2007-06-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT

Correct me if I am wrong, but inspecions seem to serve a strange purpose (Don’t misquote me, I never said that they don’t serve any purpose). The inspecting officers generally have a liking for all that is good i.e. neat and clean roads, nicely laid out lines and offices, carefully trimmed plants and trees, boys in excellent turn out. And they get to see all that they want to see; the beds laid in the dormitories are a lesson in symmetry with exactly one pair of undergarments hanging to dry and exactly one pair of shoes for display. The toiletries on display would be brand new and you would think for once that all the inmates had finished with their toothpastes together.

And then, there are some inspecting officers with their particular likes and aversions. Someone is accustomed to seeing everything in a straight line and you will find even the trees so aligned that a geometry student can be put to shame. Somebody loves to see the surrounding green and the instances of trees made to grow overnight aren’t a rarity.

The inspecting officer in this particular instance has particular aversion to stray dogs and cattle moving around. When his visit is scheduled, the wheel set rolling, the roads are broomed more than a young damsel’s hair is combed, plants get geru chuna with more regularity than they get watered, everything from trees to stones to furniture is put in line. That cant be put in line is put out of sight. All that is in line gets its share of geru, chuna and paint with the main entrance getting the lion’s share. Here special emphasis is being put on combating dog menace. Sentries have been placed at all possible points of infiltration and have been briefed to sue away any dog as soon as one is seen.

On the fateful day, the whole hierarchy takes its turn to ascertain that the arrangements are foolproof. The point about dogs has been driven home so much so that the sentries are more on the lookout for the dogs than the VIP.

Finally the visit has commenced. The commanding officer conducts the VIP around and as the visit progresses, he feels more and more confident. Even a flicker of smile is seen on his face when the inspecting officer conveys his encouragement. Smile …. such precious smile, it had eluded him the day the news of visit was broken to him. And smile eludes him once more, for he can see a dog on to his right.

Thousand things of interest appear suddenly…all on to the left. He points them all to the VIP hoping all the while that the VIP’s interest remains alive. Gradually he feels safer as the vehicle moves ahead and the dog is slowly left behind. And then suddenly Bhoun…..bhoun…..bhoun.

Sep kuldeep singh is at his wits end. He can’t understand why is he being hauled up. All that was told to him was to keep the dogs away and all that he did was to throw a stone at the dog as soon as he saw one. He had even complimented himself for such an accurate hit.

click it.... read it ..... forget it

2007-06-04T00:29:00.000-07:00

The memory has a way of failing you when you need it most ....like any other good frnd . And like any other good frnd it fails you in more ways than one. it has happened to you,me and all. now comon dont hide it . when was it last that you met a frnd of your and just in time it so happened that you couldnt recollect his name. look how the conversation goes: -

PRASHANT : - arre YAAR , tu yahan kaise , waht a pleasent surprise.

FRIEND:- bas yaar PRASHANT, main abhi abhi posting aaya hoon . tu bata .

PRASHANT:- bas DOSST, chal rahi hai gadi . tu bata NEHA ( how could you forget his wife's name) ka kya haal hai. aur BETA ( who the hell wants to remember his name ) jyada pareshan to nahin kar raha.

FRIEND:- nahin yaar ,ANSHUDEEP (son ) is such a darling , kabhi bhi pareshan nahin karta.

( ohhhh..... now I remember ,my friend is ANSHUMAAN..... eh i always knew it )

PRASHANT:- arre ANSHUMAAN yaar ( you need to emphesize thata you remember his name ....off course), thats gr8, chalo now that we r in same station , we will keep bumping into each other . NEHA ko mera hi bolna.

so that was it , but i m not here to tell you whether NEHA invited me over dinner at her place or not. have you forgotten, we are talking of forgetfulness.......right?????

so the stage setting is of my home and i m on my annual leave. while i m on leave , i m known to be quite ' NIKKAMMA'. nikkamma ,because back home nobody gives me a work to do . reason is easy enough to guess...because nobody entrusts me with a task . those who entrusted have fared badly.

for example my mom would tell me to fetch tomato , potato and onion and for sure i ll return home with one item less. she would tell me to pick up my sister from college and i wont move until i am reminded of it. half an hours delay is to be expected only natural. i can attribute this forgetfulness to many different things, but irresponsibilty comes as the natural and most honest answer. i have felt really guilty about it at times and one fine day i said that it , now i shall be more careful.

the occasion to prove myself comes rather early as my mom tells me only two things (rather apprehensive she is, even after my promise to change for better). " beta , get these medicenes and collect the photographs from the studio."

yeah , i am going to change for better. after all forgetfulness is only an euphamism for being careless. i'll prove to be more responsible....... my bike kicks off . all the way to the market i keep reminding myself ....... photographs ....medicines .....photographs ........medicines.

i actually have to meet my friend also . after all i have come on leave after such a long while . but ..no , first thing first .....photographs.......medicines......photographs.......medicines.

i reach the studio.

"bhaiya, yeh photographs aap aaj dene waale the. yeh develop ho gaya hai kya."

" haan bhai , yeh lo tumhare photographs . 50 rs advance diye the , 100 rs balance hain".

"oh...... thik hai bhaiya, main inhe shaam ko collect kar loonga".

oh good god ...... guess what ...... I HAVE FORGOTTEN MY PURSE.

wheres my baggage

2007-06-01T23:52:00.000-07:00

Hey, No introduction..... I come straight to the eventful part of the journey i.e. when I am trying to get back my luggage from the clutches of ‘ NO FRILLS AIRLINES’. Why skip the initial part of the story??.... because as the saying goes ‘ NO frills, no thrills’.

It was so uneventful being a no frills flight.More seats mean the seats were cramped together so that one can’t get out of his place. You want to get out of your place... because the airliners told you, the free citizens of free India, that all passengers are free to choose their places. No classes: that’s communism at its best.Very conveniently, I take a place, leaving two for the good company and very conveniently all the good company passes by without even sparing a thought or more importantly a look. So all I get is the old company. I bet you would like to get out of your places.

Another part of journey goes uneventful when the nick nacks come for munching. Your old company enlightens you by telling that there is nothing in life as free lunch. The not so stylish (so sad) airhostess confirms that there isn’t a thing in the plane known as fair priced lunch. You try to look convinced of the fact that your survival doesn’t really depend on the tetra pack of juice or a sandwich priced Rs 50.So this was the uneventful part of the journey.

Coming to the eventful part of the journey i.e. the baggage claim or recovery or discovery depending on the time you spend around the conveyer belt.First few things you notice is an empty slow moving conveyer belt, passengers crowding all over it and of course butterflies in your stomach.This is one of the few occasions when I wished I were taller so that I could manage more than a peep over one of the ladies shoulder to locate my baggage (don’t get me wrong, ladies are shorter in height, that’s it). First of the luggage comes on display and then more and more of it comes. But they disappear as they come without lighting up one pair of eyes and you wonder if they light no displayed is correct.

First pair of eyes light up, first pair of hands claims their baggage and my faith on the good old Indian aviation industry are restored.Then there are more and more claimants, but why is it that they are always the guys standing far off. My vicinity is still as crowded as it is unlucky.

My cell is ringing “ haan baba , I’ve landed . it is just a matter of 5 mins(fiercely optimistic)/ 10 mins(optimist)/ 15 mins( glass is half full,but who drank the first half ) / 20 min ( politically correct ) /45 mins (realist)before I get my baggage”.

I can’t agree with my neighbour more when he notices that the adjacent belt is moving much faster. We need communism more than anything else. All belts should move equally slow.).

Hey, look at that guy. He got his stuff so fast… What luck man. He is not half as handsome and cool as I am and he was sitting with the prettiest face in the flight, must be his sister. Look he is already on his way home.

Aah ….at long last, I can see my bag coming. There is no greater joy known than regaining a thing you believed you had lost. So, I haven’t fared that bad. But wait. Who is this guy picking up my stuff? “Hello there, you must be mistaken. That’s m stuff”. I cut a sorry figure but not before looking embarrassed and losing my prime spot next to the belt. I wonder how similar they looked. Thank god its not communism, else how could you figure out your stuff among hundreds of similar looking pieces?

Yours truly and his neighbour are the last men standing. The two of us have discussed everything under the sun. Together we have solved the Kashmir problem, showed out concern for the Iraqi population, picked up the next govt in UP and off course figured out what BCCI should do to bring home the world cup 2011. Ban all endorsements and who knows we can even lay our hands on FIFA world cup also.But I like it when he speaks of the virtues of patience and advises to travel light. I help him him with his four suitcases before I pick up my bag. We bid adieu….. he reaffirms his faith on ponting and co. while I know that sri lanka will win the world cup( higher sense of loyalty you see, if not India then at least some asian countryThe two realists get out. Its dark already and the taxis are charging double…
Labels: journey
draft
by prashant singh